


The Captain, by J.R.R. Tolkien. Sort of. If he'd written Trek.

by zakhad



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 22:09:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13622514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zakhad/pseuds/zakhad
Summary: One of the responses to the original challenge posted to alt.startrek.creative





	The Captain, by J.R.R. Tolkien. Sort of. If he'd written Trek.

Chapter One

In a ship in the quadrant there lived a captain. Not a musty, dank ship covered with mynocks, nor yet a utilitarian, bare battleship with nothing in it to sit down on: it was a Galaxy-class, and that means comfort.

It had a big rectangular viewscreen on the bridge, like a window that opened on the depths of outer space. To the one side was the ready room, to the other the briefing room used by senior officers for meetings, to the rear behind the tactical console the lift, a small but useful space that would carry one throughout the ship.

{note to typist: insert the detailed description of the layout of the ship here. It can be found in the green notebook between the first draft of 'The Return of the Admiral' and the thirteenth draft of 'The Two Empires.'}

This captain was a very well-to-do captain, and his name was Picard. The Picards had lived in Labarre for time out of mind, and people considered them very respectable, not only because most of them made wine, but because they never had any adventures or did anything unexpected: you could tell what a Picard would say on any question without the bother of asking him. This is a story of how a Picard had an adventure and found himself doing and saying things altogether unexpected. He may have lost the neighbors' respect, but he gained -- well, you will see whether he gained anything in the end.

{note to typist: insert the detailed description of the captain's lineage here. You will find those six pages in between the tenth draft of chapter ten of this book and the fourth draft of chapter six of 'TrotA.' Please correct my spelling -- I believe I may have misspelled 'charcoal' when referring to the color of his mother's beauty mark.}

By some curious chance, one morning long ago in the peace of the quadrant, when there were fewer battles and more adventure, and the captains were still numerous and prosperous, and Captain Picard was sitting in his ready room drinking Earl Grey, Q came by. Q! If you had heard only a quarter of what I have heard about him, and I have only heard very little of all there is to hear, you would be prepared for any sort of remarkable tale. Tales and adventures sprouted up all over the place wherever he went, in the most extraordinary fashion. He had not been down that way in the alpha quadrant for ages and ages, and the captains had almost forgotten what he looked like.

All that the unsuspecting captain saw that morning was a smirking man in a uniform. He had a red and black tunic, a pair of black pants, four bright pips on his collar, and immense black boots.

"Good morning!" said Q. But the captain looked at him from under bushy eyebrows.

"What do you mean?" he said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"

"All of them at once," said Q. "And a very fine morning it is for an adventure, into the bargain."

{Note to typist: please insert here the two pages of banter that it takes the captain to decipher who Q is, the description of them sitting down to tea, and the making of another appointment the following day. You will find these three items, respectively, in the red notebook in the back written in green ink, in the black notebook marked by an old receipt from the pub down the street, and in the burgundy notebook that little Christopher accidentally spilt tea on last week.}

{Note to self: just found resignation of typist -- ring newspaper to advertise for new one.}


End file.
